Tsuzuku for ROCK AND READ 53
♦ Sneak'n'peak
Interview: 山口哲生 (Yamaguchi Tetsuo)
Translation: Ariane
Special thanks to Stephany!
- From the last interview passed one year and four months, but when I was given this possibility to interview you this time, I thought back about many things. Tsuzuku-san, you may not remember but after we finished the interview we spoke a bit, didn’t we? Then, after last interview you talked a bit on Twitter.
Tsuzuku: I did?
- Yes. The way MEJIBRAY use Twitter is really skillful. It was talk about handling, about ways of disclosure in media.
Tsuzuku: Ah.
- But Tsuzuku-san, now you’re stopped using Twitter. I thought ‘why now, so all of a sudden?’. Why did you stop?
Tsuzuku: Simply saying, it doesn’t suit me. Being a vocalist, someone, who wants to convey something, when I collected every word like “I also think so” from people, who didn’t even know me, my complaining self just felt depressed. Because I’m really sensitive, even if I write lyrics as a vocalist things I couldn’t understand annoyed me and I awesomely disliked it. I didn’t like myself being swayed by something like this, I didn’t like such MEJIBRAY’s vocalist, so I decided you won’t see me on any kind of things like Twitter. I don’t care about the surroundings, so I thought it’s because I know I have the strong axis, which is myself.
- I think that until now you tried to keep the band move forward seeing current state of affairs in the environment.
Tsuzuku: Yes.
- But well, first of all you thought if you’ll be fine with this.
Tsuzuku: Yeah. Speaking of which, it’s because MiA and Koichi do it. I thought it will be better if I leave it to people, who can blend in with the environment so skillfully. Well, it wasn’t beautifully said now (laughs). I thought, as for me it’s enough if those two do this.
- Well, so you were doing your best quite for nothing.
Tsuzuku: That’s it. I was given many words of thankfulness, but isn’t one feeling of defeat more painful than 10 feelings of happiness comforting?
- In previous interview you also said that even small painful things seem to be enormous.
Tsuzuku: I care after all, so I see what kind of words have returned to me. However, there was also a short moment when I thought to stop it all (band). No matter what notice I would get, at that moment there was always button which allowed me to withdraw myself from the group (laughs).
- So you stopped to get nearer to your ideals, but what are your ideals Tsuzuku-san?
Tsuzuku: I’m not leading the members, they are people strongly independent (in selfish way). They help me find answers inside of me, so if I leave them alone it’s ok. They think ‘we play behind you, believing in Tsuzuku’.
- When it comes to MEJIBRAY’s power balance, each of you do what he loves, you’re independent, but you appreciate each other.
Tsuzuku: Yes. Our 4 is our 4, we differ too strongly. Maybe if we weren’t playing together in a band, I’d hate other members. I wouldn’t get near to them for sure (laughs).
- What would you hate? (laughs)
Tsuzuku: Simply saying, they’re annoying (laughs). Each one’s character is really strong, so if we were together, it would be weird for sure. But when it comes to making music, when we stay on the stage, they are hella amazing. We appreciate each other as artists. As people, well… I’d say they’re crappy (laughs). We’re MEJIBRAY - people, who won’t merge into the crowd.
- Do you think like that often? That you won’t merge into the crowd?
Tsuzuku: Funny story, but when there are a lot of people from other bands gathered in dressing room or live house, I don’t want to talk to them.
- Why so?
Tsuzuku: I’m scared.
- Scared?
Tsuzuku: I think ‘don’t come near to me’. Clear distinction is being pulled out. But other members don’t care about exchanging news, running unpleasant chats or superficial acquaintances (laughs), so they can behave like friends. I am one, who can’t.
- But you’re being accosted with talks, aren’t you?
Tsuzuku: I am. It’s good to laugh a bit, isn’t it?
- Hahahahaha. In last interview you said that you were part of student council, so at school you had rather standing out position, didn’t you?
Tsuzuku: I like controlling others. In general, I like breaking everything, when people say “I think like that” by saying “No, it’s otherwise”. I have bad personality (laughs). Funny story, but when I’m in company of women I’m acting self-confidently thinking, that I’m right about interlocutor’s feelings. Tsuzuku is right - I unconsciously act like that. When I’m with people, who don’t like me, finally I’ll make them beg me not to leave . It also feels good to me.
- You like to make them obedient, right?
Tsuzuku: Why you think so? I don’t like, when I’m not thinking that it would be awful without me. Wouldn’t world be boring without me? – I want both my friends and lovers to think like that too.
- From when did you come up with such conception?
Tsuzuku: When I noticed that I passed my 20th year, but as I remember, I always thought like that. Analyzing it now, since I was raised by only one parent, I felt being loved of course, but there was also an element of longing and I couldn’t stand the fact that someone would leave me. So if I catch someone once, I won’t let him/her leave. I mean, when I cross my paths with someone, it’s a person necessary to me. Maybe I try not to be hurt. I have protective instinct.
- You’re longing for someone, so you want to make yourself necessary for other person, right?
Tsuzuku: Yes. I’m ultimately lonely.
- But you also have strong self-confidence, so do you often fight with people?
Tsuzuku: If we’re about to fight, I’d say nothing and keep everything inside until I’d reach my own peak.
- So in this case you’re quite peaceful? You’re not letting feelings out, but re-think them in your head.
Tsuzuku: If other person is touched and I also am, I won’t let him/her making me obey him/her. As well as doing cold reading used in fortune-telling. When someone shouts at me, I’ll just coldly listen to it. Showing the understanding of other person. But when it continues and finally he/she gets quiet, I chime in with my feelings and even if he/she already understood, I plant in him/her feeling that he/she didn’t understand it at all.
- As you keep telling me about this, I’m getting more and more scared…… Maybe I also dance at your palm as you want me to dance?
Tsuzuku: Hahahaha.
- Maybe let’s move to the band’s topics (laughs). MEJIBRAY celebrates its 3rd anniversary this year and you have unexpectedly high pace. 10 singles, 2 mini-albums, 1 album, 1 DVD. And in May you released single collection. It’s strange, this amount of releases.
Tsuzuku: It’s not painful or hard at all. It went to media, so it won’t disappear. Each planned release comes out (promotion) the month before, the release month and the month after the release, but if it won’t come out the next possibility comes in half of a year. I don’t like it. But when we release something, it always comes in front of people’s eyes. Rather than “Oh, it’s amazing pace” I would like people to think “Aren’t MEJIBRAY great?”.
- This is needed to always be exposed, that’s true, but I think it’s impossible to be done.
Tsuzuku: Oh, it’s not only the work of band members, but it’s also thanks to cooperation of our manager and producer. We can’t release anything until our producer tells us “GO”, when we inform him that we want to release something, and I think it’s all thanks to his understanding.
- But you must write songs, you have lives, you are in the situation, in which you just have to move forward earnestly, so I aren’t there things, which lead to the failure?
Tsuzuku: Well, during tours my throat gets damaged, but I live in my poetry and songs, which are mental part of me. Frankly speaking, performing is my life. Awesomeness of my mental state comes out completely and at this time there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t be able to do. Because when I’m broken into pieces, shouldn’t I write music, which also seems to be broken?
- You thought “can I entertain people, even if I’m broken inside”?
Tsuzuku: And “can I love”?
- Mental strength is really needed for this, I think.
Tsuzuku: That’s quite right. Last year in summer we had three months continuous release and after that tour, which took place in 30 cities, so my heart has been rather broken down. That was horribly tough. I’ve lost a lot of weight. When I look at myself on photos from that time, I feel terrible. Things I’ve been saying back then were also illogical, weren’t they?
- Did other members also notice that?
Tsuzuku: I think so. But I don’t know from which stage. Because again it became hard to me to talk with people. When everyone was noisily having fun, I thought “Please, shut up for a moment, because I want to think about something”. That’s why during last part of the tour, on Hokkaido we have had a quarrel. We’ve met up in the hotel room with the manager and looked like “Why the hell you’re like that!?”. I spoke loud things I was thinking about. I’m never saying things out loud, no matter what I’m thinking. But if I cross the border, I’ll say, but there was nothing wrong in things members did. It’s a problem with my household environment and with a band I became mushy in other way.
- Definitely, when something like that happen, you’d think “And what did you do?”, right?
Tsuzuku: I’d think “They’re annoying”.
- You thought about each other that you’re annoying, however, it was great you could properly exchange your opinions and it helped you all, isn’t that so?
Tsuzuku: It keeps helping us. I personally can live properly as a Tsuzuku of MEJIBRAY, but when I think that MEJIBRAY members are around me I can properly see MEJIBRAY’s existence as a band. When I push myself too hard, members are the ones, who slowly, step by step put me back in order.
- I see. So thanks to that quarrel you could recover.
Tsuzuku: During the quarrel on Hokkaido I wasn’t quite myself, I keep thinking “Didn’t you think like that? Didn’t you want to tell me that?”. At the time we started band I often thought I must become a certain person, that I need to do this or that, this way or another. I can’t laugh, I can’t move in ugly way, I must be stirred up and so on. But I’ve thrown away all of this. Because creating a band isn’t eventually living together? That’s why it may sound weird, but playing LIVEs is like going to the office, because didn’t I decide to perform with MEJIBRAY? But when SE was playing and I wasn’t be able to follow my mood, I thought “Can we go back?”. Standing in front of audience, I thought that I can sing from the 1st song if I want to sing, but if I don’t want to do that, I shouldn’t sing. I walked on stage with this feeling in Aomori in which we played after Hokkaido. And I have changed. I remembered that I was enjoying singing as a child, that I started singing because I loved it and I felt grateful to be able to perform in front of people. And then I started smiling naturally. I finally understood that being Tsuzuku means not trying to be someone else. From that moment quality of LIVEs also became better. I mean, I felt like if I have grown wings and started flying.
- Without tying yourself up, you could do this as you liked.
Tsuzuku: That’s right. I was able to think that it’s ok to feel “Ah, it’s fun”. By doing so I also showed it to fans, which I saw. I mean, earlier I have said that “it’s fun”, but after I exactly started feeling that way, I was thinking only about this. I started saying “MEJIBRAY is the best” each time. Seeing members happy, I’m becoming more cheerful, and so. That’s why somehow, I feel we have really united. Everything became “MEJIBRAY”, not “spectators” and “artists”. Thanks to the fact I have changed also the members are more full of life, they became wanting to play more and became thinking that we can do this.
- This tour became one with a deep meaning. By the way, in your activities till now, have you got any impression that you have surpassed others a bit?
Tsuzuku: Uhm, well……. But after one-man in LIQUIDROOM have finished I thought “Ah, it’s sold out”. Moreover, when I smoked in the dressing room later I thought again “It was sold out”. It was a rough lesson but if we’d go without losing the way, without blurring our sight, we would win no matter what. But, how I can call that feeling? (laughs)
- You can’t name it, but you felt this way?
Tsuzuku: Yes. I had such impression. And, n my way home I saw on Twitter MiA writing “See you in Budokan in 3 years”.
- Amazing! But really, I saw that LIVE and when I came to you to congratulate, I saw you refreshed, Tsuzuku. You were all like “That was a piece of good work!”
Tsuzuku: Hahaha
- You left in me impression that you’ll do really enjoyable LIVEs, but it wasn’t only about this.
Tsuzuku: Yeah. I felt like something opened in me.
- Moreover, in May you release single collection, which title is “SM”. From the very beginning appears also the word “obedience”, but why have you choose this title?
Tsuzuku: Oh, it doesn’t make such a deep meaning. Because I like the word SM, I thought “well, maybe let’s pick SM?” (laughs) It was my intuition.
- But why do you like SM?
Tsuzuku: I like thinking about SM. Aren’t there people, who in their University times often say “I’m S” and “I’m M”? I hate it. What do you think you mean by saying, you’re S!? That you’ll take a guy to the hotel and do various things to him?
- You think ‘I will teach you, what S really means’? (laughs)
Tsuzuku: Aren’t they thinking like “if he will scream during sex, I’m surely like the S!”? And “If I’m being used, then I’m the M”. Aren’t you just stupid? SM is a spirit theory. I think it contains specific philosophy.
- What is your philosophy in SM?
Tsuzuku: To be the greater masochist than great sadist and greater sadist than great masochist. Both are extremes, but I think that I must understand them both. For example, wouldn’t you be worthless if you couldn’t say what is good for your partner, without previously experiencing ecstasy and pain felt by people on your own skin? Maybe the same is with life? Even in hierarchical relationship, if someone possesses the real strength, he subdues people, he should understand how would he like or hate to be, and because he would do something to others, different people would follow him. The same is with sex.
- I also keep thinking like that. Isn’t it about relationship with ultimate trust? By saying “but I’m S” or “I’m M”, being smug we’re not thinking about our partner, it’s selfishness and extremely bad behavior. But I haven’t been thinking about bringing a guy saying such things to the hotel (laughs).
Tsuzuku: That’s why if people, who say “It’s because I’m S” have money, situation becomes really problematic. They’re filthy. You really want this? It’s like “follow me, because I’m S”.
- They’re really pathetic as people. So in this meaning, you’re both S and M, right Tsuzuku?
Tsuzuku: But I think I’m rather masochist. However, I still didn’t get much experience about many things, so I decided I must get more. Because if I want to get experience but I’m not getting it, I’m also not growing up.
- I think that we must experience even painful things.
Tsuzuku: Right. I want to learn things I don’t know yet. Telling you flat, I wouldn’t know how is it to have tattoo or piercing, without trying it. Isn’t it painful to live without knowing this feeling?, but apart from this, it’s some kind of fashion. But I wanted to know it, so I try both piercings and tattoos, I also try to split my tongue.
- You take chats with other people personally, but impulsively say that you’ll manage it somehow, right?
Tsuzuku: Yes, I say so. It’s like, deciding if I like it or not.
- There is nothing in between?
Tsuzuku: Isn’t it something we can’t say precisely? The “something between”. It’s complicated.
- Isn’t it hard to see the world only in two ways – in so-called white and black?
Tsuzuku: Probably. But the matter if we like something or dislike it is important.
- But, as you said while ago about your philosophy, you like considering things, don’t you?
Tsuzuku: I like it. I like to think why things are the way they are? And I like when answer isn’t obvious. It’s really weird story, but let’s take coffee, I considered why coffee is coffee? While solving the puzzle, aren’t we getting confused even more? Coffee… coffee… co… what is “co”? Who started calling it “co”? And so on, I find it funny.
- So you’re considering things like that in your head all the time.
Tsuzuku: Wouldn’t it be good, if I found out something on my own that way?
- So you would like to find some answer?
Tsuzuku: But, if I could get an answer, it (considering things) would become boring. That’s why we have no intention of giving an answer as MEJIBRAY.
To be continued…
- From the last interview passed one year and four months, but when I was given this possibility to interview you this time, I thought back about many things. Tsuzuku-san, you may not remember but after we finished the interview we spoke a bit, didn’t we? Then, after last interview you talked a bit on Twitter.
Tsuzuku: I did?
- Yes. The way MEJIBRAY use Twitter is really skillful. It was talk about handling, about ways of disclosure in media.
Tsuzuku: Ah.
- But Tsuzuku-san, now you’re stopped using Twitter. I thought ‘why now, so all of a sudden?’. Why did you stop?
Tsuzuku: Simply saying, it doesn’t suit me. Being a vocalist, someone, who wants to convey something, when I collected every word like “I also think so” from people, who didn’t even know me, my complaining self just felt depressed. Because I’m really sensitive, even if I write lyrics as a vocalist things I couldn’t understand annoyed me and I awesomely disliked it. I didn’t like myself being swayed by something like this, I didn’t like such MEJIBRAY’s vocalist, so I decided you won’t see me on any kind of things like Twitter. I don’t care about the surroundings, so I thought it’s because I know I have the strong axis, which is myself.
- I think that until now you tried to keep the band move forward seeing current state of affairs in the environment.
Tsuzuku: Yes.
- But well, first of all you thought if you’ll be fine with this.
Tsuzuku: Yeah. Speaking of which, it’s because MiA and Koichi do it. I thought it will be better if I leave it to people, who can blend in with the environment so skillfully. Well, it wasn’t beautifully said now (laughs). I thought, as for me it’s enough if those two do this.
- Well, so you were doing your best quite for nothing.
Tsuzuku: That’s it. I was given many words of thankfulness, but isn’t one feeling of defeat more painful than 10 feelings of happiness comforting?
- In previous interview you also said that even small painful things seem to be enormous.
Tsuzuku: I care after all, so I see what kind of words have returned to me. However, there was also a short moment when I thought to stop it all (band). No matter what notice I would get, at that moment there was always button which allowed me to withdraw myself from the group (laughs).
- So you stopped to get nearer to your ideals, but what are your ideals Tsuzuku-san?
Tsuzuku: I’m not leading the members, they are people strongly independent (in selfish way). They help me find answers inside of me, so if I leave them alone it’s ok. They think ‘we play behind you, believing in Tsuzuku’.
- When it comes to MEJIBRAY’s power balance, each of you do what he loves, you’re independent, but you appreciate each other.
Tsuzuku: Yes. Our 4 is our 4, we differ too strongly. Maybe if we weren’t playing together in a band, I’d hate other members. I wouldn’t get near to them for sure (laughs).
- What would you hate? (laughs)
Tsuzuku: Simply saying, they’re annoying (laughs). Each one’s character is really strong, so if we were together, it would be weird for sure. But when it comes to making music, when we stay on the stage, they are hella amazing. We appreciate each other as artists. As people, well… I’d say they’re crappy (laughs). We’re MEJIBRAY - people, who won’t merge into the crowd.
- Do you think like that often? That you won’t merge into the crowd?
Tsuzuku: Funny story, but when there are a lot of people from other bands gathered in dressing room or live house, I don’t want to talk to them.
- Why so?
Tsuzuku: I’m scared.
- Scared?
Tsuzuku: I think ‘don’t come near to me’. Clear distinction is being pulled out. But other members don’t care about exchanging news, running unpleasant chats or superficial acquaintances (laughs), so they can behave like friends. I am one, who can’t.
- But you’re being accosted with talks, aren’t you?
Tsuzuku: I am. It’s good to laugh a bit, isn’t it?
- Hahahahaha. In last interview you said that you were part of student council, so at school you had rather standing out position, didn’t you?
Tsuzuku: I like controlling others. In general, I like breaking everything, when people say “I think like that” by saying “No, it’s otherwise”. I have bad personality (laughs). Funny story, but when I’m in company of women I’m acting self-confidently thinking, that I’m right about interlocutor’s feelings. Tsuzuku is right - I unconsciously act like that. When I’m with people, who don’t like me, finally I’ll make them beg me not to leave . It also feels good to me.
- You like to make them obedient, right?
Tsuzuku: Why you think so? I don’t like, when I’m not thinking that it would be awful without me. Wouldn’t world be boring without me? – I want both my friends and lovers to think like that too.
- From when did you come up with such conception?
Tsuzuku: When I noticed that I passed my 20th year, but as I remember, I always thought like that. Analyzing it now, since I was raised by only one parent, I felt being loved of course, but there was also an element of longing and I couldn’t stand the fact that someone would leave me. So if I catch someone once, I won’t let him/her leave. I mean, when I cross my paths with someone, it’s a person necessary to me. Maybe I try not to be hurt. I have protective instinct.
- You’re longing for someone, so you want to make yourself necessary for other person, right?
Tsuzuku: Yes. I’m ultimately lonely.
- But you also have strong self-confidence, so do you often fight with people?
Tsuzuku: If we’re about to fight, I’d say nothing and keep everything inside until I’d reach my own peak.
- So in this case you’re quite peaceful? You’re not letting feelings out, but re-think them in your head.
Tsuzuku: If other person is touched and I also am, I won’t let him/her making me obey him/her. As well as doing cold reading used in fortune-telling. When someone shouts at me, I’ll just coldly listen to it. Showing the understanding of other person. But when it continues and finally he/she gets quiet, I chime in with my feelings and even if he/she already understood, I plant in him/her feeling that he/she didn’t understand it at all.
- As you keep telling me about this, I’m getting more and more scared…… Maybe I also dance at your palm as you want me to dance?
Tsuzuku: Hahahaha.
- Maybe let’s move to the band’s topics (laughs). MEJIBRAY celebrates its 3rd anniversary this year and you have unexpectedly high pace. 10 singles, 2 mini-albums, 1 album, 1 DVD. And in May you released single collection. It’s strange, this amount of releases.
Tsuzuku: It’s not painful or hard at all. It went to media, so it won’t disappear. Each planned release comes out (promotion) the month before, the release month and the month after the release, but if it won’t come out the next possibility comes in half of a year. I don’t like it. But when we release something, it always comes in front of people’s eyes. Rather than “Oh, it’s amazing pace” I would like people to think “Aren’t MEJIBRAY great?”.
- This is needed to always be exposed, that’s true, but I think it’s impossible to be done.
Tsuzuku: Oh, it’s not only the work of band members, but it’s also thanks to cooperation of our manager and producer. We can’t release anything until our producer tells us “GO”, when we inform him that we want to release something, and I think it’s all thanks to his understanding.
- But you must write songs, you have lives, you are in the situation, in which you just have to move forward earnestly, so I aren’t there things, which lead to the failure?
Tsuzuku: Well, during tours my throat gets damaged, but I live in my poetry and songs, which are mental part of me. Frankly speaking, performing is my life. Awesomeness of my mental state comes out completely and at this time there is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t be able to do. Because when I’m broken into pieces, shouldn’t I write music, which also seems to be broken?
- You thought “can I entertain people, even if I’m broken inside”?
Tsuzuku: And “can I love”?
- Mental strength is really needed for this, I think.
Tsuzuku: That’s quite right. Last year in summer we had three months continuous release and after that tour, which took place in 30 cities, so my heart has been rather broken down. That was horribly tough. I’ve lost a lot of weight. When I look at myself on photos from that time, I feel terrible. Things I’ve been saying back then were also illogical, weren’t they?
- Did other members also notice that?
Tsuzuku: I think so. But I don’t know from which stage. Because again it became hard to me to talk with people. When everyone was noisily having fun, I thought “Please, shut up for a moment, because I want to think about something”. That’s why during last part of the tour, on Hokkaido we have had a quarrel. We’ve met up in the hotel room with the manager and looked like “Why the hell you’re like that!?”. I spoke loud things I was thinking about. I’m never saying things out loud, no matter what I’m thinking. But if I cross the border, I’ll say, but there was nothing wrong in things members did. It’s a problem with my household environment and with a band I became mushy in other way.
- Definitely, when something like that happen, you’d think “And what did you do?”, right?
Tsuzuku: I’d think “They’re annoying”.
- You thought about each other that you’re annoying, however, it was great you could properly exchange your opinions and it helped you all, isn’t that so?
Tsuzuku: It keeps helping us. I personally can live properly as a Tsuzuku of MEJIBRAY, but when I think that MEJIBRAY members are around me I can properly see MEJIBRAY’s existence as a band. When I push myself too hard, members are the ones, who slowly, step by step put me back in order.
- I see. So thanks to that quarrel you could recover.
Tsuzuku: During the quarrel on Hokkaido I wasn’t quite myself, I keep thinking “Didn’t you think like that? Didn’t you want to tell me that?”. At the time we started band I often thought I must become a certain person, that I need to do this or that, this way or another. I can’t laugh, I can’t move in ugly way, I must be stirred up and so on. But I’ve thrown away all of this. Because creating a band isn’t eventually living together? That’s why it may sound weird, but playing LIVEs is like going to the office, because didn’t I decide to perform with MEJIBRAY? But when SE was playing and I wasn’t be able to follow my mood, I thought “Can we go back?”. Standing in front of audience, I thought that I can sing from the 1st song if I want to sing, but if I don’t want to do that, I shouldn’t sing. I walked on stage with this feeling in Aomori in which we played after Hokkaido. And I have changed. I remembered that I was enjoying singing as a child, that I started singing because I loved it and I felt grateful to be able to perform in front of people. And then I started smiling naturally. I finally understood that being Tsuzuku means not trying to be someone else. From that moment quality of LIVEs also became better. I mean, I felt like if I have grown wings and started flying.
- Without tying yourself up, you could do this as you liked.
Tsuzuku: That’s right. I was able to think that it’s ok to feel “Ah, it’s fun”. By doing so I also showed it to fans, which I saw. I mean, earlier I have said that “it’s fun”, but after I exactly started feeling that way, I was thinking only about this. I started saying “MEJIBRAY is the best” each time. Seeing members happy, I’m becoming more cheerful, and so. That’s why somehow, I feel we have really united. Everything became “MEJIBRAY”, not “spectators” and “artists”. Thanks to the fact I have changed also the members are more full of life, they became wanting to play more and became thinking that we can do this.
- This tour became one with a deep meaning. By the way, in your activities till now, have you got any impression that you have surpassed others a bit?
Tsuzuku: Uhm, well……. But after one-man in LIQUIDROOM have finished I thought “Ah, it’s sold out”. Moreover, when I smoked in the dressing room later I thought again “It was sold out”. It was a rough lesson but if we’d go without losing the way, without blurring our sight, we would win no matter what. But, how I can call that feeling? (laughs)
- You can’t name it, but you felt this way?
Tsuzuku: Yes. I had such impression. And, n my way home I saw on Twitter MiA writing “See you in Budokan in 3 years”.
- Amazing! But really, I saw that LIVE and when I came to you to congratulate, I saw you refreshed, Tsuzuku. You were all like “That was a piece of good work!”
Tsuzuku: Hahaha
- You left in me impression that you’ll do really enjoyable LIVEs, but it wasn’t only about this.
Tsuzuku: Yeah. I felt like something opened in me.
- Moreover, in May you release single collection, which title is “SM”. From the very beginning appears also the word “obedience”, but why have you choose this title?
Tsuzuku: Oh, it doesn’t make such a deep meaning. Because I like the word SM, I thought “well, maybe let’s pick SM?” (laughs) It was my intuition.
- But why do you like SM?
Tsuzuku: I like thinking about SM. Aren’t there people, who in their University times often say “I’m S” and “I’m M”? I hate it. What do you think you mean by saying, you’re S!? That you’ll take a guy to the hotel and do various things to him?
- You think ‘I will teach you, what S really means’? (laughs)
Tsuzuku: Aren’t they thinking like “if he will scream during sex, I’m surely like the S!”? And “If I’m being used, then I’m the M”. Aren’t you just stupid? SM is a spirit theory. I think it contains specific philosophy.
- What is your philosophy in SM?
Tsuzuku: To be the greater masochist than great sadist and greater sadist than great masochist. Both are extremes, but I think that I must understand them both. For example, wouldn’t you be worthless if you couldn’t say what is good for your partner, without previously experiencing ecstasy and pain felt by people on your own skin? Maybe the same is with life? Even in hierarchical relationship, if someone possesses the real strength, he subdues people, he should understand how would he like or hate to be, and because he would do something to others, different people would follow him. The same is with sex.
- I also keep thinking like that. Isn’t it about relationship with ultimate trust? By saying “but I’m S” or “I’m M”, being smug we’re not thinking about our partner, it’s selfishness and extremely bad behavior. But I haven’t been thinking about bringing a guy saying such things to the hotel (laughs).
Tsuzuku: That’s why if people, who say “It’s because I’m S” have money, situation becomes really problematic. They’re filthy. You really want this? It’s like “follow me, because I’m S”.
- They’re really pathetic as people. So in this meaning, you’re both S and M, right Tsuzuku?
Tsuzuku: But I think I’m rather masochist. However, I still didn’t get much experience about many things, so I decided I must get more. Because if I want to get experience but I’m not getting it, I’m also not growing up.
- I think that we must experience even painful things.
Tsuzuku: Right. I want to learn things I don’t know yet. Telling you flat, I wouldn’t know how is it to have tattoo or piercing, without trying it. Isn’t it painful to live without knowing this feeling?, but apart from this, it’s some kind of fashion. But I wanted to know it, so I try both piercings and tattoos, I also try to split my tongue.
- You take chats with other people personally, but impulsively say that you’ll manage it somehow, right?
Tsuzuku: Yes, I say so. It’s like, deciding if I like it or not.
- There is nothing in between?
Tsuzuku: Isn’t it something we can’t say precisely? The “something between”. It’s complicated.
- Isn’t it hard to see the world only in two ways – in so-called white and black?
Tsuzuku: Probably. But the matter if we like something or dislike it is important.
- But, as you said while ago about your philosophy, you like considering things, don’t you?
Tsuzuku: I like it. I like to think why things are the way they are? And I like when answer isn’t obvious. It’s really weird story, but let’s take coffee, I considered why coffee is coffee? While solving the puzzle, aren’t we getting confused even more? Coffee… coffee… co… what is “co”? Who started calling it “co”? And so on, I find it funny.
- So you’re considering things like that in your head all the time.
Tsuzuku: Wouldn’t it be good, if I found out something on my own that way?
- So you would like to find some answer?
Tsuzuku: But, if I could get an answer, it (considering things) would become boring. That’s why we have no intention of giving an answer as MEJIBRAY.
To be continued…